(Post 88/Year 2 Week 25) Just For Laugh part 2: 100 Jokes From Singapore part 1

Back again with part 2 of chill and relax

Presenting 100 jokes from Singapore!

100 jokes from Singapore is one of my early attempt to write an eBook(about 5 years ago?). Leaving  it in a DUST is such a waste so,here i am...

Disclaimers note: Do note that some of the joke(in fact most )are not created by me but let's just laugh, and enjoy this post without worrying about the small detail,ok?with that,let's head off to having a good laugh,eh? 

Let's start off with a series of questions and answer…..

1)

If mantou and tau sar bao went to see a sad movie, who will cried?

Answer: tau sar bao because mantou no filling (feeling, geddit?)

Ok moving on.... 

2) 

If a big bao and a tao sar bao went to see the same sad movie again who cried?
Answer: Big bao because more filling (feeling, still geddit?)

Last one guys…. 

3)

If a lian rong bao and a tao sar bao, both the same size went to see the same movie yet again, who cried?
Answer: Lian rong bao, because tao sar bao see third time liao see until sian (bored in hokkien dialect)liao.

There seem to be an American version with burger somewhere my friend remarked when he read this joke.My reply was "that why this post is called 100 jokes from singapore and not 100 American jokes, lol!" 

By the way have you heard of the Singapore version of the three little bear story? 

4)

3 bears came home after a hunting trip:
"Somebody has been eating my porridge “said Father Bear.
"Somebody has been eating my porridge too “said Brother Bear.
"Somebody has been eating my porridge and eaten it all up “cried Baby Bear
Mama Bear:F.ucking fatties, I haven't even cook the f, ucking porridge yet....

Okay, I actually contemplated whether to omit out the bad words in that joke, but you know it doesn't really have the punchline without it...Anyway I am not stereotyping on Singaporean girl lazy to cook nowadays or maybe? Here's a joke about women anyway.. 

5) 

Why are hurricanes named after women?
Answer: They all start wet and wild and when they leave, they take the car and house with them

6)

Why is NS man the most eligible man in the Singapore?
Answer: because he can cook and sew! Most importantly he is already used to taking orders from people

Fortunately, all Singaporean man have to serve 2 years of conscripted national service so that make us all eligible,yay! 
Talking about national service, there is quite a few jokes about it....


7) 
How many NS man does it take to change the lightbulb?
Answer: 13 man
1 Commanding officer to approve training
1 supervising officer
1 conducting officer
1 safety officer
1 sergeant to conduct warmup and cool down
1 medic
1 vehicle operator
1 storeman for the drawing of bulb and water point
2 medics in the medical center
1 medical officer on standby at the nearest 24hr medical center
1 NSF man to participate in training
1 clerk to loan out the lesson plan

Okok, perhaps only ns man are able to geddit, anyway time for some heartland joke..

8) 

Ah Beng and Ah Seng went to a hawker center. Ah Seng noticed the hygiene grades issued by the Ministry of Health posted at each stall and asked Ah Beng, "Eh, the 'A', 'B', 'C' 'D' stand for what ah?"
Ah Beng snorted and said, "Aiyah, this sort of thing you also donno! 'D' stands for 'delicious', 'C' stands for 'can eat', 'B' stand for 'buay sai' (cannot) and 'A' stand for 'Alamak'!"*(oh my god!)

There is another version for this though..

9)

Ah Beng and Ah Seng went to a hawker center. Ah Seng noticed the hygiene grades issued by the Ministry of Health posted at each stall and asked Ah Beng, "Eh, the 'A', 'B', 'C' 'D' stand for what ah?"
Ah Beng snorted and said, "Aiyah, this sort of thing you also donno! "A" stand for  "A sai"( can lah) ","B" stands for " buay pai(not bad)","C" stands for can ka sai(like shit) and "D" stand for "diarrhea".

Random question coming up...

10)

How do you confuse a Malay dude?
Answer: Put him in a round room and ask him to lepak (relax) one corner.

11)

Ben: the other day I went to city harvest church for Sunday service and tell a joke, do you know what happened?
Adam: No, what happened?
Ben: when I tell the joke, everyone went Kong hehehe and sun hohoho

12)

Why didn't anyone win the contest?
Answer: Because the contestants were "conned"

13) 

Why couldn't john log into his singpass?
Answer: Because he didn't pass his singing.

14) 

Why are concerts always windy?
Answer: because there is a lot of fans
15)

Which animal is the best fighter?
Answer: zebra because it has a black belt

16)

Teacher from which secondary school dun earn much?
Answer: Dunearn Secondary school

The next joke may be a tad racist but still please do take it with a pinch of salt

17)

A tourist from India came to visit Singapore and was given a tour by the tour guide. the guide took him to the marina bay Skypark, and couldn't help but boast "From here you can see the whole of Singapore, we pride ourselves on being the cleanest and greenest city.... unlike India. You won't be able to find "dirty" in Singapore!!'

Anger by the tour guide words the Indian tourist started surveying Singapore's landscape determined to prove his guide wrong. True to the tour guide word, Singapore was really a clean and green country and he would not find any fault with it. Finally, just as he was about to give up, he spotted a dirty patch amidst the sea of cleanliness.

"THERE! What’s that dirty patch there?" he said triumphantly to his tour guide. Disbelieving, the guide took the binoculars.
"Oh. That’s Little India."

Lol!! Once again I apologize if the joke sound crude

18) 

Teacher: Ah Kau, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ah Kau: $10.
Teacher: You don’t know Maths.
Ah Kau: You don’t know my father la!

So this teacher didn't give up and ask another question, this time to ah meng the gangster of the class…

19)

Teacher: Ah Meng, if you have ten apples and your neighbors take two apples from you, how many apples you left?
Ah meng: One dead neighbor and ten apples

Next was the science lesson, once again teacher pop out a question

20) 

Teacher: Where were you born?
Ah Ming: Singapore, Sir.
Teacher: Which part?
Ah Ming: All of me

Another question from the teacher...

21) 

Teacher: How old is your father, ah Lian?
Ah Lian: Same as me la.
Teacher: How can that be?
Ah Lian: He only became a father when I born lor!

22) 

Teacher: Ah Beng, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Ah Beng: A teacher

23) 

Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng: The future tense is “you will go to jail”

School ended and Ah Kau went home

24) 

Father: your teacher just calls and said that it was impossible to teach you anything!!
Ah Kau: That’s why I tell you she's no good ah!

Soon, exam period came and was over as quickly as it came...

25) 

Mother: Ah Kau, come here.
Ah Kau: Yes, mum.
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
Ah Kau: But but but….I will only get my report card tomorrow
Mother: I know that, but I’m going Hong Kong tomorrow so I’m scolding you now.

Report card came the next day...

26)

Father: Why did you fail your Mathematics Test, ah Kau?
Ah Kau: On Monday, the teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Father: So?
Ah Kau: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8, On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8, if she can’t make up her mind, how I know which one is the right answer?

Continuing on...

27) 

Teacher to ah meng: Why can't you answer any of the questions?
Ah meng to teacher: what could be the point of coming to school if I am able to answer all your questions, Cher?

28) 

Ah heng: teacher, I can't solve this problem
Teacher: Any five year old should be able to solve this one
Ah heng: No wonder I can't do it then, I’m, almost ten

29) 

Teacher: Define absolute zero, tom
Tom: the lowest grade you can get on a test

30) 

Teacher: What is the equivalent of sixty seconds?
Tom: give me a minute and I will think about it


31) 

Ah Beng: teacher, tom keep looking at my answer
Teacher: Don’t worry, he won't find anything

Recently, the Singapore soccer team seems to like asking foreign country soccer team to come and have a friendly match here, this is what happened after one such event

32)

A policeman was walking around and checking the national stadium after a soccer game, just then he spotted a young boy, curious the police went up to question the young boy
Police: young boy, what are you still doing here the match is already over and where are your parent?
Young boy: I don't want to go home, my father beat me, my mother beat me, everyone in my family beat me, even the family dog bark at me, I don't want to go home
Police: Then where do you want to go?
Young boy: the Singapore soccer team
Police: Why do you want to go to the Singapore soccer team?
Young boy: because the Singapore soccer team never beat anybody

33) 

I’m going home to my mother! “Threatened ah meng wife
"Go ahead! “Shouted, ah meng
"But I am coming back with her! “Stated ah meng wife triumphantly

34)

What do you call a Hokkien cow’s father and mother?
Answer: cow peh and cow bu

35)

Got this army private sent overseas for his army life
Of course, he didn’t like to go there lah. He preferred here mah. Here can go Geylang anytime.
He looked around his camp. It was in the middle of the desert. Wah Lau eh! Stay here for half a year sure die one.
So he asked his sergeant, “You know, Sergeant. We all are also a man. So here, if we cannot tahan, how?”
The sergeant smiled and pointed to some camels outside. “No worry. I understand. If you want, use the camel lor.”
Army private thought, “Wah lau eh. I die die also dun want to f* a camel.”
But three weeks later, he really cannot tahan Liao.
So that night, he chose the smallest camel and f* it.
After that, he went to the Sergeant, “Wah lau eh. F* a camel where got fun? So big. So smelly.”
“Huh?” the Sergeant’s eyes opened big big. “You f* the camel?”
“You said one mah. You said if cannot tahan, use the camel.”
“Yes, we use the camels,” the sergeant said. “We use to camels to take us to the town. There got women mah.”

36) 

Ah Seng was dying, his wife ah lian was by his bedside.“ ah lian,” he said in a tired voice, “lim peh ka li kong, there’s something I must confess.”
“Aiya,” say ah lian, “just lie down there lah, no need to say anything.”
“No,” say ah seng, “I must die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother.”
“I know,” says ah lian, “That’s why I poisoned you mah! Now lie down there and close your eyes.”

37) 

The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You b******.”
The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You God-damned b******.”
The judge stops, and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime. But no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that a problem?”
The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, “For fifteen years, I’ve lived next door to that bastard, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”

38) 

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck. "Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"

39) 

Why is teacher mostly bachelor?
Answer: because when they talk no one is listening

40)

Twenty minutes into the one hour journey to ah swee party...
Ah Lian: stop, we got to go home
Ah Lian husband: why?
Ah Lian: I’ve forgotten my phone
Ah Lian husband: trust me you will be having too much fun at a party to remember your phone
Ah Lian: But I need to call ah swee and tell her that we'll be late
Ah Lian husband: why will we be late?
Ah Lian: because we had to go back for my phone

Ah Lian was at the party..

41) 

Ah swee: My husband has one hundred thousand in his bank!
Ah Lian: That’s nothing I made my husband a millionaire!
Ah swee: How did you do it?
Ah lian: When i spend his ten millions...



42)
One day, ah meng show up at work with a black eye
Ah Seng to ah meng: you look terrible, did you have a fight with your wife last night?
Ah meng to ah seng: yes I did but do not worry, because I always have the last word in an argument
Ah Seng to ah meng: what is the last word?
Ah meng to ah seng: it’s sorry

43)

a man has just got his, new library card, having some queries he approach the pretty librarian
Man to pretty librarian: with this card, can I take out any book?
Librarian to man: Yes, you may
Man to the pretty librarian: can I also, borrow and take out DVD?
Pretty librarian to man: Yes, you may
Man to pretty librarian: Can I also borrow and take you out?
Pretty librarian (blushing) to man: the librarian, sir, are for reference only

44)

During rush hour, there was a heavy traffic jam
Passenger to taxi driver: can you go any faster?
Taxi driver to passenger: can lah but I am not allowed to leave my taxi lah

45) 

James went to the dentist to get his wisdom tooth pluck out. James asked the dentist “how much for pulling out my wisdom tooth"?
"50 dollars!" Came the reply
"50 dollars for such a quick operation?!!" Complained James
"I would do it very slowly to get your money worth" came the quick reply

More ns joke...

46)

A: Have you heard about the stupid blur sotong recruit in tekong
B: No, what did he do?
A: when the sergeant asked him to drop twenty, he took out twenty cents and drop on the floor!
47)

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. He said,
"Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
"I love it but I have to stop eating it."
"Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said,
"Because I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!"
"Let me see," he said.
"Okay," she said and she pulled up her skirt,
He looked and said,
"That's right you better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said to the little girl,
"I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!"
She asked if she could look so he pulled down his pants for her. "Oh, my God, it's too late for you, you've already got the neck and gizzard!!" she said.

48) 

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed, the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
He asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?"
"Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities."
"That is right," said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts.
"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.
"Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or Breast Cancer."
"Correct," replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"
"Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!"

49)
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out and I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that.
"Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."
He replied in a hushed whisper “you never told me that your dad was a pharmacist!"

50)

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole.
He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."
The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole."
The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hairspray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. Then he stuffs the worm back into the hole.

The grandfather, impressed with his grandson's ingenuity, hands him five dollars ... then grabs the hair spray and runs into the house.
Thirty minutes later, the grandfather comes back out and hands the little boy another five dollars.
The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars?"
The grandfather replies, "Yes, I know. But that's from your grandma!"


Hope you all enjoy the jokes,another 50 jokes coming up in a future post!

(Post 87/Year 2 week 24)Zero dollar project updates:carousell,Bitcoin Faucets,Short Link,Online survey and Adsense update

It's been a pretty long time since i last updated my zero dollar project due to studies,anyway with holiday coming up,do expect more frequent blog post update.

Updates for zero dollar project
1.Carousell
2.Bitcoin faucets
3.Short link
4.Online survey
5.Adsense update

1.Carousell

My carousell:carousell.com/eric996

Due to studies, Carousell activities has only been resumed this week,hence only two sales this week.

Total earnings for carousell from last update:$2 + $2=$4


2.Bitcoin faucets

Current coinpot holding

Bitcoin core: 6569 Satoshi
Bitcoin cash: 15498 bch
Dogecoin: 67.95. doge
Litecoin:  0.00235414 ltc
Dashcoin: 0.00084884 dash

3.Short link

Last x week

Currently

Total earning for short link last update:$6.2804.-$4.3859=$1.8945

For more information on how's I use both short link on my blog and YouTube, read here

4.Online survey

Current online survey on my list...(Bold mean that these survey websites have been verified for payout)

4.1 Toluna
4.2.surveyon
4.3 YouGov
4.4 mobrog
4.5 ipanelonline
4.6 viewfruit
4.7 mysurvey
4.8 millleu(App on google play store)

Survey that payout surveyon,mobrog,toluna,yougov,ipanelonline

The total payout from last project update:$6.54+$5.00+$2.00+$5.00+$6.25+$20.00+$6.25+$9.56+$5.00=$65.60

5.Adsense
*May update only

This month earning for Adsense:$0.06

Total earnings for lastest update of zero dollar project:$4 + $1.8945+ +$65.60.+$0.06 =$71.55

That's all for the updates  for my zero dollar project!

(Post 86/Year 2 week 23)Investment project updates(Peer to peer lending):Moolahsense(My thirteen and last campaign)

Moolahsense(My thirteen and last campaign with Moolahsense)

Note*the company name will not be revealed just like the previous post as my money are still inside moolahsense, haha(this is not a sponsored post by the way)

Issuer summary
Date of listing:April 2018
Amount:S$100,000.00
Tenor: 12 months
Note type: Equal installment

Quoting from the moolahsense website

• Equal installment:A promissory note by which an installment of the principal subscription amoung and/or interest accrued and due up to the date of payment shall be payable on such dates as set out in a repayment schedule specified in the promissory note, and on the maturity date, the principal subscription amount would have been paid in full

Repayment frequency: Monthly

• Repayment frequency: Will be paid monthly

Target interest rate:18%P.A

Quoting from Moolahsense website

• Target interest rate: The maximum rate the issuer is willing to provide the interest on the principal subscription amount which the issuer wished to obtain, as notified in writing by the issue to Moolahsese

Purpose: Working capital

Quote from valuepenguin:https://www.valuepenguin.sg/what-is-working-capital

• Working capital: It is a concept to describe a business ability to cover its short-term operating costs
• E.g For this campaign, I have funded $100 into it
• As the target interest rate is 18% PA, this means that at the end of the tenor, which is 6 month I will expect to receive $118
• 100%=$100
• 18%(Interest for 12 month)=$18.00
• 118%(The Principal + the interest)=$100+ $18.00=$118.00
• Since the tenor is 12 months, each month I will receive $9.83(inclusive of interest) in payment/equal installment
• 1month=$118.00/12=$9.83

Summary company profile

• The issuer is a company incorporated in Singapore in 2014
• The Issuer is in the food and beverages industry and has around 10 employees. 
• The Issuer specializes in the retail sale of snack food products (including chips, cookies, chocolates and candies) sourced primarily from Japan. 

Detail of purpose

• The Issuer seeks working capital for the performance of various contracts which have been awarded to the Issuer.

Financial statement

Will only reveal a part of the financial statement due to confidentiality. As I have mentioned a few weeks ago in my post, that I only mainly use this three ratio: current ratio, quick ratio and debt to equity ratio to decide in investing in a campaign, hence I will be showing its ratio below

The ratio is as follow(left side of the column is for the year 2017/right side of the column is for the year 2016)

Year 2017/Year 2016

(Current ratio 2017:8.53),(Current ratio 2016:10.49)

• A simple ratio of current asset divide by current liabilities
• Current liabilities are debt that needs to clear in the short term(in a year)
• If a company has a current ratio less then 1.0, do not invest in it
• If a company has a current ratio more then 2.0, May consider investing in it
• The higher the current ratio, the better
• For the current ratio of 2016:8.53, it is higher than the recommended range(>2.0)
• For the current ratio of 2017:10.49, it is higher than the recommended range(>2.0)

(Quick ratio 2016:6.52),(Quick ratio 2015:9.54)

• The quick ratio is almost similar to current ratio except that it is assumed that the company does not sell its inventories(e.g Toyota inventory is its car) or stock, it is still able to fulfill its debt
• If the company has a quick ratio of 0.75 and below, do not invest in it
• If the company has a quick ratio of 1.25 and above, May consider investing in it
• The higher the quick ratio the better
• For the quick ratio of 2016:6.52, it is higher than the recommended range(>1.25)
• For the quick ratio of 2017:9.54, it is higher than the recommended range(>1.25)




(Total liabilities/equity 2016:0.3),(Total liabilities/equity 2015:0.41)





• The debt ratio is calculated by total liabilities divided by the equity
• If the company has a debt ratio of 1.5 and above, do not invest in it
• The company should essentially have a debt ratio of 1.0, if the debt ratio is below 0.75, do consider investing in it
• The lower the debt to equity ratio the better
• For the Total liabilities/equity of 2016:0.3 it is within the recommended range(<0.75)
• For the Total liabilities/equity of 2017:0.41, it is within the recommended range(<0.75)

Why did I invest in this loan?

• All current ratio,quick ratio and total liabilities/equity ratio meet the requirement,hence invested in it

Repayment schedule?

link on how too read the effective interest rate for moolahsense:http://letscrowdsmarter.com/understanding-interest-rates/

Monthly interest rate:interest/start balance=$1.50/$100=1.5%(Percentage conversion must *100)

Effective interest rate:1.5%*12=18% same as the target interest rate at 18%(see the top of the post))

From the above picture, you can see that the Net repayment is at $9.08 instead of the $9.83 that I have mentioned above at the working capital, hence I will do a calculation here again

1-month repayment:$9.08

12-month repayment:$9.08*12=$108.96

$100(the amount I put in this campaign=100%

$108.96=(100/100)*108.96=108.96

108.96%-100%=8.96%

The target interest rate as you can see in my above post is at around 18%P.A, after taking into account of the tenor rate being 12 months, which is 18 % and comparing it to 8.96% its almost 10% difference(i shall call this net interest rate instead)in this campaign. To conclude, this means that if you invest in a (18%P. A) high-interest rate campaign in moolahsense which has a tenor rate for 12 months, you will get only about 8.96%

The reason for quitting moolahsense is because I prefer investing in stock and also some of the delinquent payment via moolahsense, that's why this is the last campaign in moolahsense, who knows i will return in the future?

Do look out for future update on this blog!

(Post 85/Year 2 week 22)Learning investing/trading together part 17: Practical Guide On Financial Planning (By Tan Kin Lian) part 3

Continuing on from part 1 here... and part 2 here...

21.Structured Product

• Simply avoid products that are complicated to understand, unless you have a lot of time on your hands

22. Unregulated Investment Product

• MLM, wine investment etc, you name it, avoid it!

23.Investing In A Life Annuity

• The book recommends putting your money in a life annuity, but I think you are better off parking your money with SSB(Singapore Saving Bond), which is backed by the government and either in the STI ETF or Singapore ABF bond

24. Writing A Will

• Definitely a must for retirees!

25.Experience Of Consumer

• various scenario of people with a different financial and family background,nothing much here

26.Commonly used words and what they mean

Annual management fee

• This is the fund management fee, charged by the fund manager to manage your fund

Benefit illustration

• Shows the benefit you get from the insurance before you sign the dotted line
• Do read carefully, if in doubt refer back to the company

Bid price

• The selling price of your stock 

Bond

• A bond is like a loan
• When you "buy" a bond, you effectively "lend" the government or company some money, in return for some interest over the next few years
• The ability of the government or the company to repay this interest is known as the creditworthiness of the government/company
• A common measurement is this creditworthiness is the credit rating of the government/company(e.g the bond is rated AAA)
• A bond issue by the government is a government bond,a bond issue by the company is a corporate bond

Offer price

• Price at which you buy the shares, also known as "asking price" or "selling price" or "buying price"

Sales charge

• the charge you pay initially when you buy a financial product

Shares/stocks

• This is a paper which represents a unit of ownership in a listed company.
• With a purchase of a stock/share, you own a small fraction of the company, depending on how many shares you have accumulated'

All in all,that's is a quick summary of the book:Practical Guide on Financial Planning,in the next few post,we are going to learn on how to read financial statement which is useful for long term investor(and also short term investor aka traders),do look forward to it!

(Post 84/Week 69) Just for Laugh part 1: 20 Wise And Funny Working Life Quote

20 Wise And Funny Working Life Quote

After blogging for personal finance for a year, I had the "feel" to blog something else other than the usual personal finance, hence I am creating a new segment for my blog known as chill and relax! For now, it would be some interesting jokes and quotes, so do look forward to this segment!

Anyway, here are some funny working life quotes that I saw in magazines, Source: reader digest

1. Keep track of what you do, someone is sure to ask

2. Be comfortable around senior manager or learn to fake it

3. Never bring your boss a problem without a solution, you are getting paid to think not to whine

4. Long hours does not mean anything, result counts not effort

5.Write down ideas,they get lost like good pens

6.Always arrive at work,30 minutes before your boss

7. Help other people network for a job, what goes around come around

8. Don't take sick days, unless you are

9.Assume no one can take a secret

10. Treat everyone in the organization with respect and dignity, whether it be the janitor or the president. Don't ever be patronizing

11. When you get the entrepreneurship urge, visit someone who has his own business, it may cure you

12. Career planning is an oxymoron, the most exciting opportunities tend to be unplanned

13. The size of your office is not as important as the size of your paycheck

14. Job security does not exist

15. Always have an answer to the question"what would i do if i lost my job tomorrow?"

16. Go to the company holiday party

17. Avoid getting drunk at the company holiday party

18. Avoid working on the weekend, work longer on the weekday if you have to get

19. Understand your skills and abilities to set you apart, whenever you have an opportunity, use them.

Hope you enjoy reading!

(Post 83/week 68)Learning investing/trading together part 16: Practical Guide On Financial Planning (By Tan Kin Lian) part 2

Continuing on from part 1 here...

11.Good Financial Products

• Criteria for good financial products: transparent, fair charges and value for money
• Product traded on an exchange such as stocks are transparent and available to all, you can either be a buyer or seller
• Invest in renown company stocks that have high volume transaction per day, avoid fund or stock has less than $100 million in asset
• Once again...avoid insurance saving plan!
• Stay away from any complex product that you do not understand!

12.A financial adviser

• Contrarily to the book, Simply, just avoid them or find a trusted financial advisor (or DIY yourself,there are many information about various product on bank websites, there is no need for a financial adviser)

13.How to deal with inflation

• Simply put, earn more money(1001 way to do this!)

14.Planning at a later stage

• Start saving early

15.Higher commitments

• Allocate your saving and expenses according to your income(see part 2:Start a financial plan here)

16.Investing on your own

• Before investing in the stock markets, you should be aware of the following risks:
• Poor performance of invested company
• Failure to take up right issues
• High expenses of trading
• Bad timing decisions

• Trading in shares requires a close knowledge of the market, most of the individual investors like you and me do not have the time or resources to monitor the market, that is our disadvantages against a large fund
• Investment research information is more readily available to large fund, they are able to act quickly to take advantage of the news.


• On the other hand, our advantages are that we are able to hold on our stocks throughout the bad times, large fund have to consistently make a profit and show results to shareholders
• We may end up selling at a low price or buying at a high price due to the delay in getting relevant information

• When a company makes a right issue, new shares are available for a discount, existing shares are diluted and drop in value
• Hence, avoid companies that have a habit of making rights issue regularly

• Don't rely on an investment tip

• In a bull market, investor make a profit by buying shares
• In a bear market, investors sell their shares

17.Cost of term insurance

• Get one of this,I got one under the SAF Aviva
• Term insurance will pay out after a person death

18.Cost of health insurance

• Get one of health insurance

19.Cost of life insurance

• Also, get one of life insurance

20.The fun of gambling

• Don't start gambling, simple as that, unless its new year!

Will continue the next part here!

(Post 82/week 66)Learning investing/trading together part 15: Practical Guide On Financial Planning (By Tan Kin Lian)

This is one of the earliest finance books that I borrow from the library, it is simple and easy to read and give a brief introduction to the different aspect of finance such as stock and insurance. Hence, I wanted to share this book with you guys.

This post will only cover the key point throughout the book if you would like to read in-depth do borrow or buy the book:)

A brief synopsis

• Contain practical point on financial planning for young people and retirees
• The need for saving, investment, and insurance

1.Overview

• Start financial planning early
• A student should avoid making commitments to a life policy unless they can afford it
• A life policy is a bad form of saving for any person with irregular income, as they may not able to make a continuous commitment and would opt to cancel the life policy, which generally comes with a penalty

2.Allocate your earning

• Income allocation for most people(For current expenses:50%,For housing:25%,Save for the future:25%)
• Income allocation for people with lower income or 3 or more dependent(For current expenses:60%,For housing:20%,Save for the future:20%)
• It is important for young people to prioritize clearing their debt first e.g study loan, wedding loans, renovation loans, car loans
• People should generally save about 6 to 12 month of their personal salary, which is to be used for emergency

3.Meet current expenses

• Current expenses include the following(Food,transport,utilities,telephone,entertainment,household appliances,interest on borrowings)

4.Cost of borrowings

• Debt occur due to the following reasons(house, car, furniture, unemployment, unexpected illness)
• Avoid credit cards due to the hefty interest

5. Buy a home

• Do not over commit
• Do consider transacting with the seller directly when purchasing a property

6. Save for future needs

• Saving are mainly used for retirement, unemployment, insurance, medical expense, education
• Simply, Save as much as you can

7.Invest your savings

• Invest your savings for the long term and aim to achieve a yield that is 4% per annum, 2% higher than inflation
• To achieve this yield, you have to invest in equities, you can read all about my  post on the boglehead portfolio here or my investment project updates here
• If you trade,prepare for a high transaction cost
• Avoid structure investment products, such as capital guaranteed products, capital protected products, credit linked notes,equity-linked notes, dual currency investments, life insurance saving policies(especially this!!) and land banking products
• Most of these products are design by the financial institution and the commision that is taken by your savings are used to pay for creating, marketing and administering the product and the profit margin
• Equity generally has an annual return of 5 to 8%  and has high volatility
• Property fund has an annual return of 5 to 8%  and has high volatility
• Bond fund has an annual return of 2 to 3%  and has low to medium volatility
• Fixed deposit has an annual return of 1 to 2%  and has low volatility

8. Use of savings before retirement

• Savings are to be used for purposes such as education, unemployment, disability, unexpected expenses or  insurance

9.Use of saving after retirement

• Can consider investing into CPF Life Annuity, it has an imputed interest rate of 3.75% to 4.25%, 
• Some advantages of CPF Life...
• Provides the security of a lifetime income
• The Government gives a bonus of $4,000 for people who join the scheme
• Its interest rate of 3.75% to 4.25%, is higher than other low-risk bonds

10.Insuring your risk

• Consider getting insurance for premature death, medical expenses, disability, and personal accident...All other types of insurance, just avoid it!

Will continue part 2 here!